“There’s Nobody More Complicated Than a Human Being”: Whoopi Goldberg on Life, Love, Relationships, and Satisfaction
Written by Kristy Dolson
Welcome to February, the shortest and coldest month of the year! And if you’re like me – a demisexual introvert who’s happily uncoupled and living her best life – this is also the month that comes along and hijacks your good mood by reminding you that you’re worthless until you “find your romantic soulmate.” Thanks, February!
But wait! Remember when I said my 2019 resolution was to bring you a “diverse range of voices”? This month it’s my absolute pleasure to bring this gem to your attention: If Someone Says “You Complete Me,” RUN! Whoopi’s Big Book of Relationships. Written by American celebrity Whoopi Goldberg (actress, comedian, author, and television host), this book is a laugh-out-loud good time from start to finish. And it certainly doesn’t take long to finish; even though it’s 200-plus pages, it’s the kind of book you can read in a day because it’s incredibly engaging and readable.
Goldberg begins the book by explaining that over the 11 years she’s been a co-host for The View (an American talk show), she’s heard a lot of confusing things from women about relationships. She wondered why her own experiences and conclusions differed so much from the vast majority of things she’d heard on the show. Thus, she decided to sit down and write a book in order to offer advice in case there were other people out there who’d experienced a similar disconnect from the “majority” opinion. The result was an incredibly charming self-help(ish) book that the minority is desperately in need of. Thanks, Whoopi!
This book is a treat to read, like having a favorite aunt take you aside for an intimate conversation filled with all her sage advice built up over a lifetime. Goldberg has a very distinctive voice, one you can’t help but laugh along with as she regales you with her stories and observations. These stories are written into chapters that address the myriad issues related to relationships – whether it’s debunking the infamous Cinderella/Prince Charming myths, seeing the red flags of a new relationship, recognizing the difference between love and sex, or putting your family before any new romantic relationships.
“In addition to being a wildly fun and engaging reading experience, I cannot tell you how satisfying it is to hear that someone else has reached the same conclusions about life and love.”
Something I particularly liked about this book, and the thing that gives it a self-help vibe, are the moments when Goldberg provides lists for readers to fill out to get them thinking about these issues. For example, there’s the ten songs about love that gave them false expectations, or the five things they cannot tolerate in a relationship. She urges readers to go ahead and get their thoughts down on paper so they can refer back to them later when shit hits the fan. She has a patient tone when doing this. “I’ll wait,” she informs her readers. I had a lot of fun filling out these lists, and I made a lot of interesting discoveries in the process.
In addition to being a wildly fun and engaging reading experience, I cannot tell you how satisfying it is to hear that someone else has reached the same conclusions about life and love. The younger generations continue to change the dating game. Millennials are beginning to question the wisdom of traditional marriage practices, opting to cohabit without marrying for longer periods of time. Personally, I think it’s fascinating to see where our society could go from here. With more and more people debunking the true love mythology and protesting against traditional marriage and nuclear families – not to mention the rise of women in the working world and the resultant decreasing birth rates – will we see a fundamental shift in the way people couple up and/or bring new humans into the world? It may be too soon to tell, but this book definitely reflects a minority of people who are looking at the “world for two” Western society has built itself around and are saying “Actually, you know what? I’m good the way I am. I’ll just carry on, thanks.” And I couldn’t be happier to know that I’m not alone in this regard.
If you’re one of those people who watch rom-com movies (or listen to love ballads or read romance novels) and think they’re realistic and achievable, well… this is not the book for you. But if you’re over 28 and still single with no “prospects” on the horizon, and you don’t feel particularly ashamed of that, this is definitely the book for you – if only as a self-confidence boost when the rest of the world is telling you there’s something wrong if you can’t (or won’t) hold down a relationship. Let me double-down on that message: If you’re alone this February, good for you! There are more kinds of love than romantic love, and your platonic best friend can absolutely be your soulmate. These loves are valid and so are you.
You’re welcome!
The Author
Kristy Dolson lived in South Korea for five years before taking a year off to travel, read, and spend time with her family in Canada and Australia. She holds a Bachelor of Education and has just returned to Gwangju, where she splits her time between teaching at the new Jeollanamdo International Education Institute and reading as much as she can.