To Bully or to be Bullied, That is the Question

By 8ball (Kim Dong-hun)

Have you ever been ostracized by friends or colleagues, or vice versa? Why do you think it happened to you or others? If you don’t fall into either category, then you are a lucky person. Although you may never have been involved in such situations, I believe that everyone has heard about the tragic accidents that can be caused by bullying, and which lead to suicide, law suits or even schizophrenia.

The recent suicide of one middle school student in Korea shocked a lot of people across the nation. His classmates visited indescribable acts of violence upon him. They tortured him like a slave – waterboarding, tying a rope around his neck and dragging him and bludgeoning him. Another group of boys raped a girl of their age and blackmailed her with the video footage they took with the mobile phone.

Am I making a big deal out of nothing? No, it is only the tip of the iceberg and such tragic incidents are happening every day. Now the number of bullying victims, mostly students, is drastically increasing and it has become a very controversial issue that needs to be resolved right away. Otherwise we will hear more tragic, terrifying news from TV, internet and newspapers on a daily basis. Why in the world do people bully others? How can we prevent it from happening?

Regardless of how long bullying has been going on in the history of mankind, it is needless to say that it happens, and has happened, everywhere and in all places. There are several characteristics of bullying that we can observe. First, those who bully others constantly attempt to harass and isolate victims. Accordingly, those victims end up taking some dramatic measures like suicide as a way to end this misery. Second, they just bully others without any pang of conscience because they regard it merely as a fun game or a form of entertainment. Third, even those who are not engaged in bullying pretend to see and hear nothing because they don’t want to be involved. Sometimes they bully others in order to avoid being bullied. One of the biggest problems that arises with bullying in schools is that it happens during the unsupervised hours such as recess, lunch or cleaning time so that teachers and parents are often unaware of any of incidents.

Usually bullying includes calling names, text-messages containing foul language, spreading bad, false rumors, punching, kicking, ignoring, mugging and/or poking with pens or pencils but from time to time it turns into unthinkable acts of violence.

So why on earth is it happening? It is believed that those who bully others are generally physically stronger and extremely dominant. They enjoy showing off their physical superiority by using violence and manipulating others. Misled parenting may result in children having violent tendencies, especially those who live with extremely demanding and controlling parents. As tensions between children and parents increase, the children tend to become more violent and aggressive. They are also exposed to violence and brutality through computer games, movies, etc. where hurting or killing people is commonplace. They are immune to violence itself and they think they are playing games even though they are hurting others.

Those who are bullied tend to be shy and have low self-esteem. Therefore they are less capable of expressing their feelings about such atrocities. They may also take this misery for granted because they think it is inevitable. Living in a dog-eat-dog society where competition among friends and colleagues is quite fierce, many people find less and less value in friendship and justice. All they want to do is to get ahead and beat others in competition, so the ends justify the means under such circumstances.

What should we do? Schools and parents should take the initiative to resolve this issue and pay more attention to those who bully others and those who are bullied. In addition, student counseling services should be provided to those who are in need of help and student-counselor (teacher) confidentiality should be kept to protect the victims. We should place more emphasis on nurturing moral people than goal-oriented people. But the most important thing is to realize that some day we could be one of those victims or someone you know could be one of them. If we take a moment to put ourselves in others’ shoes and treat others as we want to be treated, there will be fewer people victimized by bullying. Remember the sayings: ‘A little stone thrown by someone can kill a frog.’ Don’t live the rest of your life regretting wrong decision(s) and suffering from the ramifications.

The views expressed in this article are those of the writer.