“She Wanted to Be A Bridge-Builder”: Lili: A Portrait of the First Sex Change by Lili Elbe and Edited by Niels Hoyer

Written by Kristy Dolson

Do you remember the 2015 movie The Danish Girl? It told the story of Lili Elbe: one of the first documented biological males to undergo a full and successful male to female sex change. Although that movie was a beautiful and moving portrayal, it wasn’t entirely faithful to Lili’s lived experience. Firstly, because it was given that Hollywood touch. Secondly, because it was based on a novel that was itself largely fabricated. If you want the more authentic story, you can read it in Lili’s own words in her memoir Lili: A Portrait of the First Sex Change. Reading this book after seeing the movie filled me with joy for the power of the human spirit and the kindness of people. And isn’t that what December is all about?

The memoir focuses specifically on Lili’s thoughts and feelings throughout her transition surgeries. The book was edited by her friend Niels Hoyer and consists of the diary entries of Lili and her former wife, Grete, along with letters written to and from Lili. Hoyer took these primary sources and turned them into a comprehensive narrative. It’s a rare glimpse into the life and struggle of an LGBTQIA+ pioneer at the beginning of the twentieth century.

It’s a simple memoir, and mostly chronological, although there are a few chapters that go backwards. However, given that the memoir wasn’t written as a true memoir but rather edited together from various documents, it reads very well. The most poignant parts are the letters. These are real and full of vivid emotions: from uplifting optimism to shattering depression. As a result, the reader can feel the pulse of love and hope throughout this book. Even though Lili passed away in 1931, I was able to know her through her diary and letters, and I’m humbled by the strength she possessed to embrace and pursue her true identity.

If Lili had been born today, perhaps she would’ve struggled less in the pursuit of her authentic self. Perhaps she would’ve survived the surgery that led to her early death. Perhaps she would’ve even realized her dream of having her own child. But while psychological and medical knowledge have certainly come a long way since the 1930s, fear and hate still run rampant in our society. Although she was accepted by her friends and family, she knew that the greater world viewed people like her with suspicion and disgust. And it’s outrageous that there are still people in power debating whether or not these individuals even deserve to exist.

Lili: A Portrait of the First Sex Change was published posthumously in 1933. I’m sure that back then the story was rather sensational on its own. These days issues surrounding transgender and intersex individuals are a hot-button political and social media topic. With the U.S. government seeking to erase trans, intersex, and non-binary identifying citizens, it’s vital that we re-examine our values and beliefs. If people identify as one gender – or none at all – and wish to pursue the life that’ll bring them happiness, then who are we to oppose them? Lili Elbe was a brave pioneer. But she never got to finish building her bridge, and now it’s up to us to keep laying the foundation for future generations. It’s my Holiday wish that one day humanity will be able to cross it freely.

The Author

Kristy Dolson lived in South Korea for five years before taking a year off to travel, read, and spend time with her family in Canada and Australia. She holds a Bachelor of Education and has just moved to Yeosu, where she splits her time between teaching at the new Jeollanamdo International Education Institute and reading as much as she can.