Guam! Guam! Guam!

Written and photographed by William Urbanski.

Håfa Adai! What if in roughly the same time it takes to ride the bus from Gwangju to Incheon Airport, you could be sitting on the beach in Guam? Actually, that is a bit of an exaggeration because after the four-hour flight from Muan, you will almost certainly be forced to wait for two hours in an abysmal immigration line manned not by humans but by dysfunctional biological systems contained within TSA uniforms. If you can just resist the urge to throw a temper tantrum in the Guam Airport, paradise awaits.

On December 24, Jeju Air started a rad and direct service from Muan Airport to Guam. Muan Airport is an easy 45-minute drive from the city, and flights to Guam leave at 8:40 in the Ante Meridiem. A convenient feature of Muan Airport is the free and easy parking. Also, the airport itself is not large, so after arriving it only took us a few minutes to get from the car to the check-in counter. One thing to be aware of is that for this route, online check-in is not allowed (something to do with traveling to the States, which Guam is a part of). Keep that in mind when planning your schedule.

Approaching the end of 2019, I figured everyone in the whole world knew that when using an airplane toilet, one must slide the latch to lock the door and let others know it is occupied. The last person on planet Earth who was not aware of this cultural practice was on our flight, and my wife had the extreme displeasure of opening the bathroom door and spoiling that woman’s special, private moment. Awkward!

Overall, the flight was a breeze, made even better by the kind and helpful Jeju Air staff, and not even the horrid experience at immigration could stop the positive vibes once we smelled the fresh sea air.

What to See

As an intrepid, seasoned, and somewhat grizzled traveler, I have to say that the beaches in Guam are among the most stunning and beautiful anywhere. They should be at the top of your list of places to visit. Ypao and Tumon beaches are free, accessible, and feature perfect, white sand and clear water. I also heard about some private beaches which cost, like, ninety bucks and cap the number of beachgoers, but why anyone would want to pay for something you can get for free is beyond me. To each his own, I guess.

Two Lovers Point is a bit out of the way but provides a perfect view of the Tumon area and the vast, blue sea. The cliffs get their name from the legend of two forbidden lovers who tied their hair together and did a swan dive onto the rocks below. Not a very romantic gesture in my book, but the vista makes the trip out there worthwhile.

Guam Qualms 

Outside of the Tumon district, which is relatively well-serviced by various shuttles (more on that in a bit) and actually has decent sidewalks, make no mistake: Guam is not pedestrian friendly. Even though the island is relatively small (about two-thirds the size of Jeju) I would not recommend taking the heel-toe express for anything but the shortest trips. There are a few reasons for this, such as many of the sidewalks being along major roads having up to six lanes. Guam is also hot and hilly, so it is easy to get gassed out from walking. Another thing I found is that Guam subtly discourages walking. As winner of the Nobel Prize in Economics Richard Thaler points out in his book Nudge, the default option is a powerful way to control behavior, and when at a crosswalk in Guam, the walk signal will not activate unless the button is pushed. This may seem like a trivial thing, but it sends a strong message that cars, not pedestrians, get priority. 

Renting a car is worth considering if you would like to explore the island, but this has all the drawbacks of, well, renting a car. Adding to the expense is the fact that gas is pricey on Guam (about $4.50 a gallon). Taxis are readily available but they will, without hesitation, wage war on your wallet.

The public transportation system is pretty much non-existent, so that leaves the shuttle services. The Red Guahan Shuttle service is quaint (the buses look like street cars) and hits all the hot spots. An unlimited two-day pass is $15 and, as an added bonus, the drivers will not hesitate to dispense customized financial advice, up to and including exactly what and how many stocks you should buy. Thanks! Overall, we were pretty happy with the Red Guahan Shuttle, but there were a few instances in the evening when we had to wait for quite a while, and one time we were not even let on because it was full. The other shuttle service that seemed to come by more frequently was the Lea Lea bus, but you have to buy your ticket online in advance. If I had to do it again, I would just get passes for each of the shuttles.

A Chance Encounter

My favorite part of the trip was on New Year’s Eve, when my wife and I were walking back to our hotel along a dark, coastal road. Suddenly her grip tightened and she pulled me back. My wife, who usually screams at a pitch normally reserved for calling dogs, was too shaken to even speak. Almost underfoot was what can only be described as a cross between a tarantula and thanatophobia: a coconut crab! Clearly dreamed into existence by the devil himself, the terrifying “ayuyu” (as it is called in the local language) is very rare and found only in areas of the Pacific and, increasingly, my nightmares. My one major regret in life is not taking a picture of that unholy beast, but it was too difficult to operate my camera while running away screaming like a little girl.

There is a lot more to say about Guam, including its rich history and the traditions of the local Chamorro people, but for now, all you need to know is that Jeju Air has planes waiting in Muan to take you there.

THE AUTHOR

William Urbanski, managing editor of the Gwangju News, has an MA in international relations and cultural diplomacy. He is married to a wonderful Korean woman and has myriad interests, but his true passion is eating pizza.